The face of an old frenemy
I went to a meeting marathon today. From 11:30 am till 5:30 pm. I have been in this country more than half my life and still the language eludes me. I can never express myself as much as I want, and I can never fully understand what others are saying. I get the gist, but the deeper nuance is always beyond my comprehension. Still, the meeting went on and I did my best to accomplish the goal. I had help. The hosts were flexible and tried their best to make me feel welcomed and respected as a contributing member of the team. This is not always the case when it comes to work. I have lived more than once through treachery, betrayal, fake smiles, and offers of cooperation that try to hide a secret plot to undermine me by spreading rumors and half-truths. It’s like discovering a black hole. No one has every seen one, but we know they exist by how the stars respond to their presence. It’s the sad reality of how small-minded people can be. The first time in my life it happened the person ended up in the rubble of a bomb they had planted themselves that exploded their lives into ash and debris. This is the third time now. Watching it happen again is like seeing the face of an old frenemy. I know it sounds like the rantings of a paranoid delusion. It’s not. Just yesterday, someone told me of how they talked to someone else who had “heard” that I was a disruptor who selfishly went against the grain and had no respect for “the team”. After getting to know me, however, that person quickly realized that the rumors were false, and that I was an invaluable member of said team. The person who spread the rumor is now being rumored to be a liar and a snake but not by me. I don’t play that game. It is coming from all of the people who realized the stories were wrong. My friend asked, “Why don’t you do something.” I don’t have to. Twice before it happened and twice the rumor spreaders were eventually burned by the fires they had started themselves. Strangely enough, I don’t hate the person at all. At first, I was infuriated, then painfully disappointed, then demotivated, and finally ready to move on. However, I remembered how much the work matters and how the sincerity of my efforts had shone beyond the petty darkness that tried to subdue me. I also know, those who lay traps often find their own foot being crushed to the bone.